May

There wasn't anybody else at the allotment today. It was fabulously quiet and peaceful. Apparantly they have installed CCTV... somewhere, but is so C that I could SEE it. Very high tech and it's better to be safe, but can't help thinking that it is probably all down the other end of the site where my plot isn't - so I'll just be left lying in a puddle of blood and unsuccessfull planting if anyone did attack me anyway.

Still, there was no blood today. Just ants biting me. I didn't get ants in my pants, but I did get them all over my hands and shoes... and they hurt.

As I was alone I thought I'd take the opportunity for an undisturbed erection (see above). I don't like being watched by the old men while my erection is starting to go up, it puts me off. Theirs are always so much more impressive than mine. I always think they're laughing at me. This year I've gone for the 'tunnel' look with cane on the top. Fancy eh? No?

And by the way making crap jokes about cane erections, is funny EVERY year, EVERY year I tell you and shall continue to be so (for me anyway).

Some of my canes were all rotten - who would have thought that wood would rot if it was left out in the rain and snow?

Let your teeth into that lot... My radish crop has got lots of little biddy bite marks out of it. Shame...but, I pulled out a couple of nice spring onions. Big fat babies.

The beetroot is looking good.

Sign of spud growth. So I covered them.

My little iddy biddy leeks have sprouted. Some people are talking about transplanting theirs and chopping the tops off.... I'm sure mine were alright to plan last month. Anyway, they are growing, but aren't ready just yet for top and tailing just yet...

Look see, I have grown something! Broad beans, with lots of flowers on. Hurrah! No sign of any black fly ... yet, something has been nibbling at the leaves though.

I know, look at the state of them. I put my sweetcorn and my pumpkins in. It might be too early, but I've done it. My sweetcorn was going yellow - it's not meant to be doing that yet. Be green please! Anyway, they are in and Monty would have been proud of me. My green manure (rye grass) that I planted and dug over had rotted down beautifully in this bed and has made wonderful rich soil. I am definitely going to do that again next year. Although it did take until now to rot down, so it will only do in a bed that isn't needed until May/June time I guess. Or not? I don't know.... it seems to have worked so far anyway. The soil is great, the plants aren't.. but, I have grown them myself. They might be spindly and sad looking, but they are all my own work.

That's about it. I've done most of the jobs that were on my list... I haven't netted my strawberries..... gulp. They've got loads on too. Don't worry, I'll do it. The worst hated job. Netting.

Things to remember to do:

Plant some more beans direct

Buy another grow bag

Dig up that big mad lemon mint

Get some more planks round

Do the scarecrow! - important job

Stupid nets for stawberries and brassicas

Oh yes, strim the edges - very important to stay in good books of important allotment lady

Erm, oh yes plant stuff...

April

A good day today at the allotment. I wanted to do lots of watering, but a greedy grabbing old couple hogged the tap for over and hour with their hose. I managed to lug some watering cans around and get a bit done though, I will not be bullied by pensioners. They were nice too and smiled and waved to me. Greeding grabbing nice people are the worse kind of tap hogs.

Here are my forget me nots, I know you can't eat them, but they are too pretty to ignore. So these are everywhere. I'll just rip them out when I need the room.

Broad beans surviving. Strangely not dead after they have not been watered for ages.

Pulled out my old broccoli plants. Seemed a shame, they are nicer than any flowers in the gardens on our street. A bee agreed with me and followed me back to the car buzzing around my head while I got rid of the old plants.

Look at my lovely trench. It is a work of art. A work of shallow art. This soil looks like it was easy to dig, but it wasn't. It was like a piece of dry dusty old rock. I realised I'd built my potato trench in the wrong place so I had re-do it after consulting with my plan. Plan?! Yes, there is a plan. I know that everyone else put their potatoes in ages ago and dug their trenches in February, but I like to be different. They're in now anyway.

Last of the leeks. Goodbye my friends. I've sown a new batch today.

Got some plenty of salad leaves on the go at home. Planted some more at the allotment today too.

I dug in all my green manure too. It better improve my soil or I'll be an unhappy bunny. It was hard work today.

I have been so tardy of late that I didn't put in any red onions. I found them waiting in the storage box. Too late for you little onions. Yes? Of course! Guess what I've done? I'm such a bad gardener that I've put them in anyway with their big fat white cousins who are doing rather well now. If they are tiny little tichy ones I'll just have them in my salad. Waste not want not.

I have got asparagus! Yes! I've got some spindly ones and some big fat mothers that I've snipped off. Hurrah.

Things to do:

Nets. Nets. Oh no, I've got to net my strawberries next........ groan, they are full of flowers. Tried to put in some canes today and they just snapped, the soil was that hard.

I must go and cut the grass next too before I get told off.

Get some grow bags! Think someone is having some kind of wedding tomorrow, but I'm going to buy my grow bag instead.

Re pot my pumpkins.

Plant some more seeds.

Weeding - obviously.

The paths could do with a bit more bark on them, but I don't think that is going to happen.

Put the canes in for the runners.

Ok. I'm organised now. I know what I need to do.

Lugged back a massive load of weeds that filled up the boot of the car. Shhhh don't tell my husband, he loves it when I use the car for my soil shifting. He doesn't need to know I put the old manure bags in there either. Ignorance is bliss.

The problem with going to the allotment is that I have to go straight back because there is always too much to do. I can feel my back seizing up already after one day too. Oh yes, and if you see the slug that ate my giant sunflowers, give him a stoney Paddington stare from me. Thanks.

About time

My sweet peas and broad beans are starting to sprout.

The window sills in the house are now looking like they are meant to for this time of year. Have planted up lots of seeds today.

Pumpkin - Big Max

Cucumber - Zeina

Courgette - Solei

Sweet corn - Sweet Nugget

Spouts - Fill Basket

Broccoli - Purple Sprouting Early

Broccoli - Red Arrow

Kale - Dwarf Green Curled

Tomato - Losetto

Parsley

Beetroot - Boltardy

Coriander

Beetroot - Pronto

Lettuce - Concarde

Lettuce - Webb

Courgette - Black Beauty

Poached Egg Plant

Gaillardia

Cosmos

Artichokes - Green Globe

Dwarf Beans - The Prince

Chilli - Pyramid

Swiss Chard - Rainbow

Nasturtiums

Climbing Beans - Yellow and Black

Runner Beans and Broad Beans (from last years plants)

I've planted leeks too even though I'm too late, I can't do without leeks, so even if they don't work I've stuck them in anyway. I'll eat them small if I have to. It's no good if I can't torture my family with my leek soup.

I'm not a plastic gardener anymore now that I've actually got my hands dirty. It's good to be filthy, go on people get out there and get dirty.

Hurrah

Ok, I've cut my hands. I've got a sore finger, (ouch). My coat is ripped to bits by brambles and caked in mud.

I'm back!

Got some good work done today, I've even got sore bits so that means I tried really hard. Next job, sort my seeds out and plant like crazy because I've not got much in yet. I'm a poor show this year, but I promise to catch up.

Some seeds in!

Went yesterday to renew our fees and dug up a few more leeks and found few more parsnips.

My helper planted some broad beans which we've put under the cloche.

The rhubarb is starting to come up now. Please ignore the weed at the bottom, I'll pull it out later, promise! It was very cold on Sunday and I only had thin gloves on. Excuses, excuses. Got some potatoes 'Desiree' and 'Maxine' and some 'Red Baron' onions to plant up later. So hey, I'm getting slowly organised. Oh yes and I've started a twitter account too so if you're into all that, this is me here SJLuddem. Happy digging!

I've been!

There has been mentions of potato chitting, oh no, I've not got any yet! February is nearly here so I though I must go to the allotment before they throw me off. I went this morning and I'm glad because it was a really nice day. Once you go you are already planning the next visit, there's always something that you need to get on with. My little friend the robin came and joined me, it was just the two of us, lovely and peaceful.

On the way there my bike knows that I have been neglecting it and the gears decided to lock up whilst going up the big hill (big for me). They would only change to the lower and lower gears (or is the higher ones)until it reached the killer one that you aren't meant to do hills in and locked up. I made it with my thighs on fire to the allotment ready to collapse and then the bike unstuck itself and all the gears started working again. No comment.

I did a bit of weeding and digging and found a prize, some forgotten about parsnips. Lucky me.

I shared an unfortunate worm with my little friend the robin. He took it and went to hide under a tree with it as though there was a chance that I might nick it back again. I guess worms are precious when the soil is still a bit frozen.

All looking not to bad at the allotment considering my lack of care. That green stuff is winter tares by the way, not weeds, so don't judge me too harshly. Put on a couple of cloches to warm up the soil for planting my broad beans. Grabbed a couple of stray brambles and brought them home to thread through my fence, wouldn't it be terrible if that burglar that tried to break in over Christmas came back and got himself scratched to bits? It would be a real shame for him. I will be getting more next time I go... and jobs a good'un.

Lazy

The snow is good, and the perfect excuse to be lazy. All the plants that I have been too lazy to clear are looking good. My sunflowers in the front garden look great with snow on them, I would have kept the teasels anyway for the birds. My sunflower excuse is that I left them on purpose too. It's all for the birds. Sometimes its good to be lazy.